I just need a day or two to catch up with my life, that's all! I have a few projects for my coursework that can use some more attention, and I've found it is easier to work on those projects when I have larger chunks of time. A good weekend of homework time and I should be in a good spot.

I have been saving as much as I can to put myself in a better position for the future, but much of my extra cash has been diverted to school recently. I should only have a few part-time semesters left. When I complete this program I know that I can secure a position that will improve my financial picture. I just have to push forward with the plan.

In the meantime, I can always pick up part-time hours if it turns out that I need to bring in more money. I just don't want to unless I have to, because, well, I'm tired. My brain is tired from being "on" all day long. My body is tired from being on the move all day. When I get home to my own children it is refreshing to spend time with them. Of course, now that they are older they aren't too interested in spending time with me but at least we all enjoy a meal together and hang out a little before or after dinner. But the option to get more hours is there if it turns out I need them.

Nothing has been said out loud, but the writing is on the wall. I am trying to make smart choices for my kids and me.

My mom is back in the hospital, too, another infection. The doctors have this one under control, but I may be making another trip out there for Thanksgiving. I was planning on spending the long weekend at home, but we'll see.

I called in sick yesterday, I got hit with some sort of bug the afternoon before. Fortunately I'm feeling much better this morning. I guess all the cells in my body had to duke it out with the germs and that's what left me so yucky feeling and tired, like I had been hit by a truck!

My budget is still intact for the month. It seems eating out may spill over, but if I could somehow contain those expenses I would be in great shape. Otherwise I have to take from other categories, which is fine, but I want to build those up.

I've been feeling rather drawn to the junk food lately and I don't want that to become a habit. It might be the time of the month that is increasing these junk food cravings, or perhaps just stress in general that makes the fat/sugar/salt combo so appealing these days.

I need to fix the junk food habit the same way that I started the a.m. work out habit. I set my alarm and when I woke up I functioned sort of like a robot- my body moved to get dressed, I washed my face, made a cup of coffee. I didn't explore the thoughts in my head that that were arguing with me to stay in bed, I could do it later, yadayada. When I got to the gym then my mind could start working but this time I was high-fiving my brain for doing what I needed to do!

The mind is interesting, and sometimes I just need to shut mine off so that the easier/ instant gratification behaviors don't overpower the more effortful/long term beneficial behaviors.

I was able to register for the mandatory class I need for my license. Now I just need to pay the bill, it is due by the end of December. It means I will delay the completion of my certificate program by a semester, but that's ok, since I need this course to stay employed next year.

I checked off a bunch of little homework assignments as well. I'm up to date on my class, now I just need to keep it all together!

Tonight for dinner we had leftovers. We don't end up cooking more than 3 or 4 times a week it seems, we are able to stretch our meals. Not only does that save money on food, it saves time. The kids usually don't say anything about leftovers, assuming they liked the meal the first time around.

I browsed some Christmas activities in the area to plan ahead for possible ticket purchases. I wanted to see A Christmas Carol in Ford Theatre, where Lincoln was assassinated, but the kids were kind of lukewarm about it. When I asked if they wanted to do the Holiday Zoo Lights again, they both responded "yes". I'm fine with that. Tickets for the weekend performances started at like $70 each. Zoo Lights is FREE. We all had a great time there last year.

I'm mentally putting my relationship woes on the backburner, just for now. Ruminating does no one any good. We have an appointment to see a counselor next week, so we have agreed not to make any decisions without exploring that resource, and to just call a truce in the meantime.

I'm looking forward to a time when I'm not juggling so many balls in the air. I don't like so many deadlines and concerns, but I know that this busy time is only temporary, it won't be forever.

The BUDGET: Yesterday I had car maintenance and registration renewal, when all was said and done I spent about $467. Half of that was already in the car maintenance category, the other half I pulled from other "rainy day funds". Not fun to see those categories dwindle down, but at least the money was there. And I have a well running vehicle with shiny new brakes! (I'm assuming they are shiny, it's not like I can see them or anything...)

Today I have to register and pay for two classes that I need to take in order to get my full endorsement in adapted curriculum. I had an endorsement in "general special ed" curriculum, but when I took this position I needed the other endorsement. I haven't gotten the final total for those two classes yet, I will know by the end of the day. I do get a discount on the classes because I'm currently teaching, but the county went away with tuition reimbursement a few years ago.

In the summer I can hop back into my certificate program, I'm very close to finishing.

The GOOD: My children are flourishing in school, thankfully. They got to spend the Halloween weekend hanging out with their dad and they had a super fun time. The girls have been getting along better with each other lately I've noticed. They are getting older, but every "kid stage" seems to have something special to enjoy as a parent!

The BAD: Things are kind of sucky on the relationship front. I'm a fixer by nature and historically I try to make relationships work, even when they have obviously hit the end. Maybe I was avoiding the shame of "failure", or possibly I was avoiding the pain of a breakup. But I have come to realize that not everything broken is meant to be fixed, I guess I can leave it at that. I suppose some of these life lessons I should have learned earlier, but I feel stronger now that I a finally learning.