We got to check out the condo yesterday for the walkthrough inspection. The kids picked out their rooms. It's not as big of a place as we have had in the past, but I think they will like it. I love the set up. The kid bedrooms are on the third floor, with a little loft area outside of their rooms, and a bathroom, so it is like their own space. My bedroom is on the second floor right under them, with a bathroom and laundry closet as well. The first floor houses the garage, kitchen, living/dining, and powder room.
I'm excited about what the changes will bring. The last few years have been so crappy emotionally, I'm ready for a new focus. I want to focus on spending time with my girls, finishing up my education, and staying on track with my goals. I want to get back to what I value.
I think that SO checked out emotionally soon after the official marriage, so she was just into herself. I was so focused on making things better, on "fixing" things, that it just made things worse. Now that I'm admitting it is time to let things go, I feel lighter.
The only lingering question is, what's next? SO wants to act like we are still married, just living separately, and she'll spend weekends hanging out with us and stop in during the week when I have class to help with the girls. That sounds dandy. It may be the ideal solution, so your significant other doesn't drive you crazy over the years. But in reality, I'm hurt. I'm hurt that we couldn't work things out while we were together, but she is all about doing this part-time.
By seeing how she reacted soon after we made our marriage official, and how she just focused on herself and disengaged from the family, I don't feel like "dating" her right now.
January Life Updates
January 9th, 2016 at 11:00 am
January 9th, 2016 at 01:13 pm 1452345184
January 9th, 2016 at 02:31 pm 1452349908
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January 9th, 2016 at 02:59 pm 1452351598
January 9th, 2016 at 06:09 pm 1452362991
Maybe she'll come to her senses and start taking it seriously after a bit longer. Marriages do often have rocky starts (mine did), so I wouldn't say there's no hope.
January 9th, 2016 at 08:01 pm 1452369666
I don't think there is one right way to solve things since everyone is so different. We are facing a separation of six weeks this summer (with me taking the kids and going to the west coast for oldest daughter to work at an LA-based agency). Some very traditional devout Catholics think this is tantamount to annulment. Funny when you think that people you consider friends would be "supportive" and turn up as SO judgmental.
My hope for you and your girls is that you're able to move on with open minds and hearts and that you can do so in peace. Ultimately, your happiness is what matters, and how your situation affects your girls. I hope that your able to settle happily and quickly into your new place, and maybe put a moratorium on seeing each other for "x" amount of time. Wishing you peace.
January 10th, 2016 at 02:10 am 1452391850
And Laura, it's a shame your "friends" are getting catty about your summer plans. Really, six weeks apart and they think the marriage will be ruined?! They sound bitter and jealous. Peace to you!